The Demands and Sacrifices

I had breastfeed my son and was determined to do so with Ashlynn. I did not realize that Downs babies have low muscle tones and this would be nearly impossible to do with her. Plus how could I be at the hospital to feed on demand? I felt as though I was less of a woman because of this. I had also hoped for a VBAC, vaginal birth after c-section, with her, but this was also a farfetched dream, due to pregnancy complications and not knowing if Ashlynn's medical conditions could tolerate such a birth. I was heartbroken and did not know how to talk to my husband or anyone else for that matter. I felt like I was broken, what was wrong with me that I made my daughter's life so uncertain. Thoughts raced through my mind, it felt like a million at a time, what did I do. I knew, well thought that things would be easy, but was soon faced with all the demands and sacrifices. As a mother, we all make sacrifices, like sleepless nights, swollen breast, and need I continue to list. But when you have a child with special needs, it takes more. You are demanded to be more patient, to learn new things, and the most IMPORTANT demand of all is learning how to fight for your child. Your eyes are open to a new world, you never see how a family struggles to have their children seen as other "normal" children are. It sometimes feels as though you are fighting a war, to have people look at Ashlynn for Ashlynn, not like she is someone from another planet. The comments that some people can make, will make you wonder, "WHAT IN THE WORLD!" Here are just a few, "Is there something wrong with her?", "If she is one why is she not walking?", "Is she slow?", and there are a thousand others. Some of these comments is where the demands of your patients come in, when you really want to scream is, "Is there something wrong with you, are you slow?????" A lot of the sacrifices that you make with a special needs child is very similar to having any other child, but there are, what feels like, 100 times more appointments, your baby meeting simple milestones, more medical problems to face and deal with, and many other things. Even though I have to give into demands and there are more sacrifices Ashlynn Ja'Kobi Curista Nicole is worth every bit!